How to help your child with social approval
If your kid struggle with social approval, these are some tips on how you can help your child.
My name is Ann Zaprazny, and I help parents and athletes succeed in sports and life.
Your time watching and supporting your child participate in sports will fly by. Depending on the age(s) of your child(ren), you may not believe it.
As a parent of three children - the time will fly by.
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How to help your child with social approval
Often our children and our athletes can struggle with social approval.
Athletes want to be:
- Liked
- Accepted
- Included
- Valued
By their parents, coaches, teammates, and classmates.
They fear disappointing their parents, their coaches, and their teammates.
They want their parents, coaches, and teammates to be proud of their efforts.
Social media add another dimension of social approval.
Athletes may be caught up with the number of followers on the "hottest" social media platform. (Tiktok, Instagram, etc.) This can lead to feelings of not enough, stress, and anxiety.
As parents, we want to help our children foster their love for their sport and play and compete for themselves.
In sports and in life, there will always be someone better.
We can not control others.
However, we can control and focus on our effort and individual development.
When your child can focus on their performance, effort, and actions, they can perform more freely.
Are your actions adversely impacting your child's performance?
Circle the statements that apply to you or your spouse or other significant family members regarding your family's youth athlete(s).
- Do you compare your child's performance to another?
- Do you compare your child's training effort or routine to another?
- Do you tell your children not to embarrass themselves?
- Do you tell your children that their performance and/or behavior were embarrassing?
- Do you shame or ridicule your child for poor performance?
- Do you insist on additional training after a poor performance?
- Do you withhold your love or acceptance after a poor performance?
Reflect on the statements that are true for you.
Unfortunately, well-meaning parents can unknowingly undermine their child's confidence. How can you adjust your behavior?
How to help your child perform their best
1) If you circled any of the items 1 through 7 above, avoid repeating them before competition or practice. Work to change your behavior.
2) Encourage your child to have fun and do their sport for them, not please others.
3 )Help your child understand that sports are what they do. Sports are a part of who they are. However, sports are not all of who they are. They are loved, valued, and important regardless of their performance.
4) See and treat your child as an individual with interests beyond school. Ask about their school day BEFORE you ask about their practice. Ask about academics, school work, projects, and practice.
5) Help your child have a balanced life. Encourage rest and recovery.
6) Ensure your child takes a break from social media and their device. For example, please encourage your child to leave their phone in the kitchen at night vs. taking their phone to bed.
