How to help your child move through mistakes
If you’re looking to help your child move through disappointments and overcome mistakes, we can help.
My name is Ann Zaprazny, and I help parents and athletes succeed in sports and life.
Your time watching and supporting your child participate in sports will fly by. Depending on the age(s) of your child(ren), you may not believe it.
As a parent of three children - the time will fly by.
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How to help your child move through mistakes
Many athletes fear failure. So many athletes fear making a mistake and get frustrated after a mistake.
As parents, we want to teach our children that no one is perfect and mistakes will happen.
We can learn the most from our mistakes, disappointments, and failures if we are open to learning.
When I work with an athlete, I will often ask them if they prefer to be on TEAM PERFECT or TEAM RELENTLESS.
Almost 100% of athletes pick TEAM RELENTLESS.
Why? Team relentless focuses on effort, intensity, and staying in the moment.
In contrast, team perfect worries about making mistakes and may compete tentatively.
Our job as parents is to help our children move through mistakes, take risks, and play freely.
Are your actions adversely impacting your child's performance?
Note the statements that apply to you or your spouse or other significant family members regarding your family's youth athlete(s).
- You expect specific times, scores, and performance.
- You get frustrated when your child makes a mistake.
- You get frustrated when your child's team makes a mistake.
- Your body language informs others that you are frustrated.
- After the competition, you dwell on mistakes.
- You are disappointed with your child and or the team after a poor performance.
- You focus on the outcome (win, scores, times) vs. effort and sportsmanship.
Reflect on the statements that are true for you.
Unfortunately, well-meaning parents can unknowingly undermine their child's confidence. How can you adjust your behavior?
How to help your child perform their best.
1) If any of the behaviors 1 through 7 above are true for you, avoid repeating them before competition or practice. Work to change your behavior.
2) Encourage your child to focus on their effort vs. the outcome and to have fun.
3) Tell your child that no one in the history of sport is perfect. Encourage them to give themselves the grace to make mistakes and be imperfect.
4) After the competition, tell your child that you love to watch them compete and ask what they want to eat.
5) Avoid dwelling on mistakes. It's part of sports. If your child initiates the discussion, ask what they learn from today, embrace and move on.
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